When we finally decide
that it is time to make a change, we discover that change is hard. When we decide to change our eating habits,
change is really hard, because food is not just stuff we eat because it fuels
our bodies, but for a lot of cultural, social, and emotional reasons as
well. Good news! There are some tools to make it less
difficult.
The fancy name for what
we are doing with these tools is cognitive behavioral change. I kind of like to call them Jedi mind tricks. Some of them are pretty self-explanatory, but
I’ll add comments anyway, because I’m like that.
Tools:
Negative reinforcement: I don’t
like this one, so I’m listing it first and getting it over with. Essentially, we set up a punishment for
ourselves if we don’t do the thing we want to learn to do. Say we want to eat fewer desserts. Negative reinforcement of that goal would be to
make ourselves scrub the toilets when we eat cake or to take away our
television time for buying a candy bar. In
my opinion, life is punishing enough all on its own; we don’t have to help
it. However, if someone finds this tool
useful, I won’t argue. Or I won’t argue
too much. Maybe.
Reward: Now this one, I can get behind. It is the opposite of negative
reinforcement. In the eating dessert
example above, maybe we make it an entire week without dessert. We win a prize of our own devising, whether
that is a pedicure or a new book or a lazy day in bed. The only thing to watch out for when we’re
changing eating behaviors is that we can’t reward ourselves with, you guessed
it, food.
Self-monitoring: This tool, in many ways,
underlies all the tools. It comes down
to paying attention. When we track what
we’re doing, we open up the avenues to change.
Some people find it helpful to record what happened before the behavior
in question, what the behavior was, and what the results or consequences
were. Maybe I had a really rough day. I bought a pint of ice cream and ate it
all. Then I felt sick to my stomach and
irritable the whole next day. If I discover
that this is a pattern, I can work to break it.
Environmental Management: This one
is simple and powerful. We set up our
spaces to encourage our best behavior and discourage our worst. Maybe that means that we don’t keep cookies
in the house (who am I kidding? Who keeps cookies? We don’t buy them in the first place.). Maybe we spend a little extra time packing up
healthy snacks for work or a little extra money on the good kind of salad
dressing, the one that makes it feel like we’re living large even if most of
lunch is lettuce.
Alternate Behaviors: When we
can’t modify our environment, we have to find other ways of coping. Maybe one of our coworkers has a candy jar
full of M&Ms right there on the corner of the desk, singing a chocolatey
song to us every time we go by. One
alternative to snarfing them all might be to choose a different path to the bathroom. Another might be to make sure that we have
our hands full whenever we have to pass the desk. Of course, the environment might be modifiable
after all; we could ask that person to keep the candy out of sight.
Social Support: That last idea, about asking
the coworker for help, falls under social support. This is also where we ask our friends and
family to help. It might be awkward to
ask Granny not to bake a cake for our birthday, or to suggest that girls’ night
involve more dancing and less drinking, but the people who love us should be willing
to help us.
Cognitive Coping: This is
one of those umbrella tools. Maybe a
Swiss Army umbrella, that has a can opener and a scissors. Point is, it is a series of skills. One is self-talk. We want to increase the positive self-talk
and decrease the negative. Most of us
can use more encouragement. Another is
challenging our beliefs. Sometimes we
unconsciously believe that we are weaker or less amazing than we are. Yet another is goal setting with reasonable
aims.
Managing Emotions: Ah
yes. A real challenge. Chocolate may be magic, but we can find other
magic that is better for our health.
Maybe we reframe situations or find other ways of self-soothing when we
are upset. Walking and naps are often
good choices, but we can be creative in our use of bubble bath, music, and
dog-petting.
Relapse Prevention and Recovery: Sometimes
we blow it. It happens. Having a plan to get back on track when we do
blow it can make all the difference.
We can do this.
