Mother May I: Swear

This particular permission may be controversial and we may have to use our good judgment in how we deploy it.  We have permission to swear.

Let me digress into a (relevant) story.  Back when I was a freshman in high school lo these many years ago, I had to take P.E.  For me at the time, this was akin to getting a daily bout of measles or flu or something.  I had to play sports I didn’t choose or like in the middle of the day, getting all sweaty, and then I had to go do more school after that.  Some of my P.E. teachers were stellar human beings.  Others were… not.  One of those others happened to be a football coach who liked to make inappropriate comments to young female students such as myself.  This same coach wrote me up for saying a bad word after getting kicked in the shins playing soccer.  Girls were not supposed to swear.  I spent many early mornings before school running laps to offset that bad report and save my grade, so I had plenty of time to ruminate on the unfairness of it all—the boys didn’t get written up for swearing.  I guess I built some character?  I definitely hardened my resolve to smash the patriarchy, even if I didn’t know what that exactly was when I was fourteen.

 

I am not saying that we should all be dropping F-bombs all over the place.  Context is important in swearing as in everything.  What I am saying is that the occasional swear word is good for the soul.  In fact, actual research has found that swearing reduces our sensation of pain.  What could be more useful in a workout than that?

 

Workouts are not tea parties.  We do not have to be perfect ladies and gentlemen while we work out (even though we do have to have good gym etiquette—we are not barbarians!).  If a good cuss word gets us through to a personal best, that’s f-ing awesome.

Mother May I: Have My Feelings

Today we have permission to love our workouts or to hate them.  In other words, we get to feel however we feel.

When we’re doing something really hard and it isn’t going super well and we’re tired and grumpy, it’s good to remember that we don’t have to like the process of what we’re doing.  We certainly need to work out, but we don’t need to add pressure to ourselves to think it is the best thing ever all the time.

 

On the other hand, some folks really want us not to like our workouts.  (This is not their business, but this does not stop them.)  For their own reasons, they seem to need us to hate the gym or weights or exercise generally or whatever.  Ignore them.  We have permission to have fun at Zumba or on our bike or doing a personal record lift.

 

Workouts are enough work all by themselves.  We don’t need to add a bunch of emotional work on top.  Really.

Monday Workout: More Balance

One thing I get from doing my continuing education courses is new variations on exercises.  This week, we’re doing round lunges, but instead of just lunging front, side, and back, we’re adding the diagonals (lunge front, lunge diagonal front, lunge side, lunge diagonal back, lunge back, lunge diagonal back across, lunge front diagonal across).  It’s a lot of directional change, but it’s practical for life, which doesn’t always move the way we expect.  Three rounds.

 

db circles	30
bench press	20
round lunges	10
mountain climbers	30
flies	20
pushups	10
squat to leg lift	30
rows	20
brains	10

 

Mother May I: 4

Unless we are dead, we are eating something at least occasionally.  Eating is natural.  It’s essential!  And yet, somehow, I still feel like I need to remind us all that we have permission to eat.  Here are some things we are allowed:

 

1.     Vegetables.  The more, the merrier!  Eat as many colors as possible!  Eat them in salads, soups, on the side, on top, or underneath.

2.     Fruits.  Whole is better, but juice is ok, too.

3.     Protein foods.  What these are vary by human.  It’s good to choose lean proteins and maybe a fair amount of plant-based protein for optimal health.

4.     Treats.  Yes:  we are allowed treats.  We just need to remember that they are sometimes foods.

Mother May I: Lift

Today, I’m granting everyone permission to lift weights.  Any weights you want and can move with good form.

Sometimes we might feel intimidated by the weights.  We might not know exactly what to do with them.  (This is what trainers are for!)  And sometimes there are some large, muscular types hanging out by them acting like they are their weights.  They are not.  We are allowed to use them, too.

 

Here is how:  put on our grown-up pants, walk over to the weights, and use them.  If someone is already using them, we ask, politely, “Can we work in?”  The answer to this question should be yes.  If it is not yes, it is ok to go check with gym management because working in is good gym etiquette.

 

Some of us may think that we shouldn’t lift weights because we are too (choose one:  old, female, weak…).  This is not true.  We may want to choose the weight we lift carefully and appropriately for our skill level and strength, but nearly everyone can and should lift weights.

 

Go do it!

Mother May I: Sweat

In May, we celebrate Mother’s Day.  I’m going to do it a little differently (you’re shocked, right?).  We’re going to play Mother May I with fitness topics.  Here’s my thinking:  sometimes what we really need on our fitness journey is someone to give us the permission we need.  For this month, I’m “Mother” and I am here to grant you leave.

So let’s get started.  Today, you all have permission to sweat.

 

Personally, I am good at sweating.  I could be sitting there in a freezer and I’d be sweating.  I’ve mostly made peace with this, but there were times when I was younger when this did not feel like a Good Thing.  (Thanks, patriarchy!  Not!)  As a result, I was a little shy about exercising.  I mean, who wants to spend forever doing their hair and makeup and then just drip all over it?  (Again, thanks, patriarchy.)

 

Here in this century, maybe we can understand that there are times to get sweaty and then times to get clean.  Sweat is a useful marker that tells us we are working hard and making progress toward our goals.  The gym is there to sweat in, not to pose in.  (If you want to pose there, you do you, but please, don’t hog the good machines or the free weights.)

 

Go play.

Monday Workout: Balance

I’ve had balance on my mind lately, so we’re working it with the calf raises and the squat heel lift.  Three rounds.

 

ball to knee	30
calf raises	20
quadruped lateral raise	10
squat heel lift	30
kickbacks	20
db pullover with bridge	10
plank jacks	30
good morning/deadlift	20
pretty prinesses	10