Friday Book Report: What Fresh Hell Is This?

I was given What Fresh Hell Is This:  Perimenopause, Menopause, Other Indignities, and You by Heather Corinna by my kids.  It was a highly appropriate gift from several perspectives.  Captain Obvious here:  I’m somewhere in the menopause process (hard to tell exactly where, since I had my uterus removed a few years back, but my ovaries are still in there doing things or maybe not).  But also, my dear daughter in law Sam is a social worker with Scarleteen, which Corinna founded and runs.

 

I have been making a point of talking about menopause things out loud often because I felt like I came into this process totally unprepared.  I mean, I’d heard about hot flashes, but cold flashes?  Who knew?  Not me.  I think it’s time for whatever cultural reticence or taboo (or, you know, men thinking women’s processes are icky) to get out of the way so we can know what the heck is going on.

 

This book is extremely helpful.  It’s full of useful information presented in plain and inclusive language.  Ageism, sexism, racism, and ableism are called out repeatedly.  Those who are uncomfortable with swear words, LGBTQ+ issues, varieties of sexual practice, and less conventional relationship choices will have some adjusting to do and/or might prefer a different messenger for this particular message, but again, the data is sound and the aim is uplifting, encouraging, and hopeful without being bright-siding (in other words, when stuff sucks, Corinna says it sucks).

 

I highly recommend it for people in the process, or who are with people in the process, or for people who will sooner or later be in the process.

Step away from the spoons...

I am a stress eater.  I am always looking for ways to deal with stress that don’t involve diving head first into the Häagen Dazs.  Here are five:

 

1.     Take a nap.  Sometimes we just need a rest to reset our stress-meter.

2.     Go for a walk.  And not with the local café with those delicious pastries as a destination.  Fresh air, sunlight, and motion are all good stress-busters.

3.     Call a friend.  Connection reduces stress.  Even a short break to catch up can do wonders.

4.     Breathe.  Deep breaths get us back in touch with our body rhythms.

5.     Do something that needs both hands.  Read a book, knit, play drums, fold the laundry.  If both hands are working, they can’t be shoving pretzels into our faces.

 

Got any more?

Finding the best buddy

A lot of us need help with accountability.  We are more than happy to flake on ourselves when we don’t feel like getting up in the morning to work out or when we’re tired on the way home from work and we skip the gym to go to the couch instead.  One way to short-circuit that tendency is to buddy up.  We don’t like to flake on our friends.  However, it is important to choose the right friend to be a workout buddy.  Here are some things to consider:

 

Is my friend a morning person or an evening person?  Both kinds of friends are great, but planning a morning workout with an evening person is not likely to be successful.  (Note:  we need to check what time works best for US, too!)

 

Is my friend overbooked?  Often late?  Prone to emergencies?  If so, this friend might not be the best workout partner.  We want someone as committed or slightly more committed to showing up as we are to make this work.

 

Is my friend at about the same fitness level I am?  Working out with a friend who is a lot less fit than we are can be fun and social, but maybe not the most effective workout unless, say, we are on neighboring treadmills going at our own appropriate paces.  Similarly, trying to keep up with a friend who is a lot more fit than we are can be discouraging and in extreme cases dangerous.

 

Is my friend interested in my success (and am I interested in theirs?)?  We probably don’t want to work out with that friend who always has to one-up us or who puts us down.  We may want a bit of (friendly) competition, but only a bit; when it gets to be about winning, we may lose sight of our real goals.  We want to choose the friend who is encouraging and who appreciates our encouragement.

 

Is my friend too chatty?  Of course we want to chat while we work out with our friend, but we need to make sure we’re still doing the workout.

 

Go play.

Gotta Make the Morning Last...

One of the things I love about Pilates is that it helps me slow down.  I am not the world’s most patient person, so I tend to go as close to warp speed as possible most of the time.  This is not entirely sustainable, so I am grateful, again, to Uncle Joe for his help.

 

Two particular aspects of Pilates make it conducive to a more sensible tempo for me, and maybe I’m not alone in this.  Pilates moves with the breath.  While it is possible to breathe fast enough to do a set of chest lifts or femur arcs or Russian splits at the pace I often want to get them done, it’s not very pleasant.  Allowing the breath to facilitate the motions almost automatically slows things to a more manageable level.  It also keeps me from hyperventilating!

 

The other part of Pilates that helps me tune in to a more leisurely, enjoyable experience is the integration it demands between body and mind.  My body, left to itself, will flail around at its top speed.  When I have to be more precise and more thoughtful about the quality of the motion, everything takes longer.  Pilates is not about getting it done; it’s about getting it done right.

 

We all, I think, need a little more space in our lives.  Pilates, by helping us unplug from the high-velocity activities of the day, makes that space possible.

Monday Workout: Pursued by a Bear

This week we have more compound exercises!  The lunge to curl to overhead press is exactly what it sounds like; those of us with knee issues may just want to do a curl to overhead press.  The bear crawl starts with us on the floor on our hands and feet; we move our right arm and left leg forward to crawl and then the left arm and right leg.  Ball wall squats can be done several ways, but two that I might suggest this week are the usual up-and-down or an endurance squat held for as long as possible.  As always, adapt as needed!  Three rounds.

 

1 arm clean and press	30
flies	20
ball wall squat	10
suitcase swing	30
(lunge) to curl to overhead press	20
bear crawl or pushups	10
mountain climbers	30
deadlifts	20
brains	10

Friday Book Report: Yoga and the Quest for the True Self

Stephen Cope’s book Yoga and the Quest for the True Self is not the one to pick up for how to do poses.  It’s more about why to do poses, and I don’t mean to achieve yoga butt.

 

Cope is both a psychotherapist and a yogi from Kripalu.  His book has a lot of the characteristics of the usual self-help and pop psychology books (stories about people with various problems and their victories through yoga).  It’s also a history of the Kripalu ashram, which provides some cautionary ballast to the happy joy love story.  Cope’s writing style is conversational and clear.  He doesn’t throw out a whole bunch of Sanskrit and leave the reader to sort it out.

 

While at times he strays a little far along the woo-woo spectrum, he remains grounded and practical.  He does not look at yoga as a cure for everything and does, from time to time, note that he did refer various people in his stories to therapy.  He seems to believe that yoga, by freeing the body, helps us get to what we need to free our minds, which is where therapy is a useful adjunct.

 

For me, the price of the book was worth it for these five words:  “breathe, relax, feel, watch, allow” (p. 210).  This is his recipe for integrating physical, emotional, and energy experience.

 

Definitely an interesting read; may not be for everyone.

In a Car Jam

Anybody stuck in a car or behind a desk for a long time can attest to the toll it takes on the body.  Here is a list of survival tools to help us through.

 

1.     Duck.  Also called a point-pressing stick at the local Daiso store.  Best $1.50 investment ever.  We hook it over a shoulder and pull down and that spot between neck and shoulder that holds all the tension feels the relief.  May even keep us from swearing in traffic.

2.     Yoga Tune Up Balls or lacrosse balls.  The former are better for desk and the latter for cars because lacrosse balls are firmer to compensate for squishy car seats.  A ball under one side of the behind can bring all kinds of relief to aching hips.  A pair of them on either side of the spine can help keep the back from making us want to stab people.

3.     Microwavable neck pillow.  This one requires planning ahead, which can be a problem, but in the morning cold the pillow can bring much needed relaxation to the neck and shoulders.

4.     Water.  Dehydrated people are grumpy people.  We should get whatever kind of travel cup makes us actually drink more water and add bubbles or mint leaves or lemon slices or whatever makes it feel more fun.

5.     OTC pain relievers.  Different ones work better for different folks and some of them interact poorly with various prescription medications, so we need to do a little checking, but keeping some in the car to deal with that post-work or in-traffic headache can get us where we are going slightly more sane.

 

Go play.