Recently I listened to a webinar about Pilates and self-esteem. I do these things so no one else needs to. The presenter was very… sincere. She spent an hour talking very earnestly and here’s what we need to know: Pilates can improve our self-esteem when we approach the exercises with a sense of curiosity, ready to explore what our bodies can do, rather than with an ego-driven need to succeed (whatever that means) at Pilates.
Simple enough, right? Sure. Park all that achievement-minded programming we’ve been receiving at the studio door. Ignore all those messages about our bodies and what they’re supposed to look like and feel like that have been bombarding us our entire lives. Defeat the dominant paradigm, and hey, presto! self-esteem!
Well, defeating the dominant paradigm might take more than one session, but we begin with the breath. Focusing on our breath, coming into our bodies, sensing what we actually feel: these are the first subversive steps. They help us let go of all those voices, those distorting mirrors. We move. We think about how we move. We move some more. And as we keep going, we do get curious.
It's a little bit like being a kid. We’re stuck waiting for the school bus at some random corner of the sidewalk. At first, we’re bored. There’s just concrete. But then we notice the dandelions pushing up through the cracks and the line of ants and the ladybug. We find a cool stick. We use the stick to poke around in the pile of last year’s leaves and find a bottle cap and a nickel. By the time the bus comes, we’re squatted down, fascinated by the trickle of water into a storm drain, totally engaged.
Breathe through the boredom. Find the little bits of interest. Follow them.