We all talk to ourselves, although some of us are more subtle about it than others. How we talk to ourselves when we work out matters. Here are some things to consider:
1. Give yourself positive feedback. This means noticing what is going right, even if it is very small. “I showed up today! Good job!” “Lifting that weight one time is more than I did yesterday! Hooray!”
2. Focus on process. “I went to the gym three times this week.” “I spent 30 minutes on the elliptical trainer.”
3. Process your feelings. It is all right if you don’t like working out. One of the things I said about a gazillion times to my kids (and still do, even though they are adults now) is “You don’t have to like it, but you do have to do it.” Acknowledging that some parts of what you are doing to get what you want are unpleasant is healthy and useful.
4. No insults and no apologies. You are not lazy or stupid. You may not be where you want to be in terms of your fitness or your body shape or whatever, but you are working on it, so give yourself some respect. You are also doing your best, so do not apologize for not being perfect (I had to learn this one the hard way; my trainer made me do pushups every time I apologized during a workout. I got a lot better at pushups while I learned…)
5. Encourage yourself. This can be a hard one. Sometimes it helps to imagine that you are encouraging someone else, maybe a small child or a best buddy.