Friday Book Report: The Happiness Project

Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project is my kind of book.  I like the whole idea of projects where a person takes a year to do some thing or other.  I like lists.  I fantasize about charts.  And who does not want to be happy?  (Put your hands down, Shoe Gazers.  I don’t believe you.)  As a person with depression, I am always looking for ways to fight the monster, although the book specifically says, perhaps on the advice of lawyers, that it is directed not at people with clinical depression, but at average humans who would simply like to be happier.

There is lots of research stuffed into the text.  The anecdotes are amusing.  One could simply go forth and do what Rubin did and it would probably make a good amount of difference.  The more intriguing possibility is to take what she did and customize.  She chose a focus for each month, beginning in January with working on having more energy (getting enough sleep, exercising, acting as if, etc.).  Some of her foci might not make sense for different people; those of us who are not parents of small children don’t need to work on our parenting skills.  I haven’t checked it out, but there is also a blog with online resources.

The book also came at a good time for me.  As I’ve mentioned, I’m in the process of doing my Behavior Change Specialization for continuing education.  It is almost June, an excellent time to check in on how my plan for this year is coming along (remember that vision board?).  In the remaining days of May, I’m going to be getting my ducks in a row to Happiness Project and Behavior Change my way through the rest of the year.  Anyone want to join me?  If so, let’s talk and figure out how we can work together.  (It should be obvious, but just in case, I’m talking about this as a personal project and not a work project, even though it intersects with my work interests in general well-being.)

Let’s get happy.

But don't flip off the freezer...

In general, I would argue that we need more politeness in the world rather than less.  A little social lubrication goes a long way toward preventing riots and mayhem and freeway shootings.  However, I think there is one way the politeness habit does us a disservice.  We feel we have to respond.  And that can get in the way of mindful behavior.  Go with me here…

We all have or know of someone who has a toxic relationship.  At a certain point, the only way to deal with the mess is to get out of it, block the number, move away, get the restraining order, whatever is necessary.  No matter what stimulus the toxic person offers, we have to ignore it because nothing good will come of responding.  But every time, when the phone rings or the text comes or whatever, we have to fight our politeness training that says we have to answer.

Now let’s apply the principle to a more metaphorical relationship.  Let’s imagine we have a toxic relationship with ice cream.  There we are at the store and the ice cream speaks to us.  It would be rude to ignore it, right?  We are trained to reply to stimulus.  When we are mindful, we can choose not to answer the ice cream.  We can blow it off, no matter what promises it makes about how this time it is going to be different.

Maybe ice cream will stop liking us.  I think we can cope with that.

Because it is efficient!

Most of us don’t have a lot of spare time.  We are busy, productive, creative people.   We thrive on being efficient.

It might not seem like it, but exercise is efficient.  Here’s why:

Being sick takes too much time.  Exercise keeps us healthy and prevents chronic disease.  Maybe we don’t love to spend time in the gym, but it beats the heck out of the hospital.

It cuts out the stress.  Everything goes better when we are calmer and nothing makes us calmer than getting all that aggression out in the gym.  Meditation can be tricky, but with yoga, you get to move at the same time!  Align the chi and burn calories!  What’s not to like?

It creates more energy.  Exercise lifts mood, improves metabolism, and gives us more oomph!

Stages of Change

One of the things I love about my job is that I get to keep learning things.  It might be obvious that I’m constantly reading things to increase my knowledge base.  Additionally, I am required to do some formal continuing education every two years to keep my personal training certification up to date.  Last week, I started my Behavior Modification Specialization, which I expect to give me more tools to help clients be successful in reaching their goals.

We all have changes we would like to make or that we should make.  One of the things we have to figure out is where we are on a scale of readiness to change.  The model I’m learning suggests that there are five:  precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.

In the first three stages, the work that goes on is mostly about education and consciousness-raising.  Action and maintenance are where the change really happens and where it becomes part of our lives forever.

We need to think about where we are now.  Do we need more information?  Do we need to consider options?  Or do we need to get moving?  Wherever we are, we can work together to get better!

Monday Workout: Small muscles are important, too!

This week we’re getting in some basics.  Our deltoids, generally, can’t lift a whole lot of weight, but they are crucial to our shoulder health and our vanity when wearing warm-weather tops.  Good mornings, similarly, don’t often involve the most humongous of weights, but strengthen and tone the whole back of the body.  Four rounds.

1 min cardio
ball slams	20
ball flies	20
good mornings	10
plyojacks	20
lateral raises	10
Russian twist or barbell twist	10

Friday Book Report: Extraordinary Minds

Howard Gardner’s Extraordinary Minds provides an interesting discussion of what makes for excellence.  Gardner is the man who brought us the concept of multiple intelligences, a welcome concept to those of us who don’t thrive on monoculture.

He posits four major kinds of extraordinary people, Masters, Makers, Introspectors, and Influencers, each with a particular focus.  He illustrates each kind with a case study, of Mozart, Freud, Woolf, and Gandhi, respectively.

While he states that, obviously, we can’t all be extraordinary by definition, he does suggest that a commitment to excellence can bring us all closer to being extraordinary along with three core practices:  reflection, leverage, and framing.  We live in challenging times; it behooves us to consider what we might need to rise to meet them.

Incomplete was your training!

You get what you train.  This sounds obvious because it is obvious, and yet we forget.  If we train our muscles to get bigger, we get bigger muscles.  If we train our bodies to be more flexible, we bend better.

There are limits:  It would take an act of God to make me a basketball player.  I’m not made out of whatever it is that gymnasts are made out of (superballs?).   But, the point stands.

What do you want?  Who do you want to emulate?  Do you want to be like Serena Williams? Or Yuan Yuan Tan?  Is your goal more Dwayne Johnson or Haile Gebreselassie?  Let’s train for THAT.