Where do you think all those other numbers come from?

Remember when selfish genes were widely discussed?  I don’t want to talk about scientific controversy, publicity, evolution, or any of that stuff.  It’s just that a long time ago I read a critical remark about the concept of selfish genes that was, whether or not it was accurate, funny enough that I still remember it.  The critic said that it made as much sense to talk about sex-crazed prime numbers.  I imagined 7 and 23 hanging out in a bar, trolling for dates, chain-smoking, hooking up in back alleys, intent on making more and more numbers.

Whether or not numbers are out there procreating, we sure have a lot of them around.  And some of them could be said to have a tyrannical streak.  I will limit myself to two (prime!) examples:

1.     That number on the scale.  Whatever it is, it is not the sum of our self-worth.  It, and its relatives, including the number on the tag in our pants, do not get to tell us that we are wonderful or worthless.  The number may get bigger or smaller.  We remain uniquely valuable.  We may want the number to be different for any number of reasons and we may be taking appropriate steps to make that happen, but we will not be inherently better when the number changes in the direction we desire, nor inherently worse if it goes the other way.

2.     The gym numbers.  Ten reps are not more magic than nine or eleven.  We are not better humans if we bench press a lovely round number of pounds.  If it is best for us to do seven reps with 22.5 pound dumbbells, that is what we should do and then we should feel appropriate pride in our accomplishment.

Numbers are useful, but not the most important things.  We do better when we treat ourselves with love.

Step away from the stickers...

I love office supplies.  I love office supply stores.  Sure, they sell pens and paper and binders and staples, but what they really sell is the illusion of order.  I can buy that all day, every day.

My social media feeds right now are full of ads for different kinds of planners and journals.  The ads have lovely photos of calendar pages with neat handwriting, color coding, stickers.  They have slogans that encourage me to meet those goals, realize those dreams!

Maybe those systems work.

Here is what I do know:  reaching goals is seldom an orderly process and probably has nothing to do with pretty penmanship, unless that is, in fact, the goal itself.

We reach goals by setting plans, yes.  Those plans need to be orderly enough that we can decipher them, but they certainly don’t need to be color-coded or sticker-based.  (That said, back when I was a non-profit administrator and later when I was an office manager, I learned that people will do a remarkable amount of crazy stuff to get a gold star sticker…)

We also reach goals by understanding that our plans may not match up with reality.  The real path to a goal is seldom charted out only once, in ink, in a tidy progression from point A to point B.  The path is more like a wave or a squiggle, with unexpected high and low deviations.  We go forward a while, then stop.  Sometimes we go backwards.  Sometimes we take a side path and realize that was what we should have been doing all along.

Some of us do excel using fancy planners and stickers and colored ink.  For some of us, finding the ultimate organizational system really will be the key to unlocking our dreams.  But some of us really need permission to wallow around in the messy process of creation.

I’m on my own messy journey and I’m happy to accompany any fellow travelers.

A breakthrough from boredom...

Last week, I got bored with my Pilates routine.  To shake things up, I went back to my books and lists of exercises and began to review from the beginning.

Going back to the beginning can be very instructive after becoming more skilled.  What seemed impossible at the beginning seems easier.  Also, deeper levels of the beginning exercises make more sense because the body understands more.  What felt like a straight core exercise back when I first learned it became an exercise in spinal flexion and mobility as well upon re-acquaintance.  And, of course, clients got to play, too.

I love learning new things.  Sometimes I love learning old things over again in a new way.

We can do this.