The positives of negatives

There is a lot to be said for having a positive attitude.  However, there is also a lot to be said for having a negative one.

Complaining is allowed.  There are some exercises (burpees, I am looking at you!) that just aren’t fun.  We do them, but we don’t have to like it.  I made up an entire song, once, about how much I hate lunges.  It got me through the workout.

It would be great if we could all float happily through our workouts, stepping up to every challenge with equanimity and grace.  It’s still great if we get done with a new record for number of curse words in a fifty-minute period.  It’s the workout that counts.  If smiling works too many muscles and distracts from the ones that are supposed to be working, we don’t have to do it!

It can be a relief to know that we don’t have to pretend to like something.  We can hate the process and still go through with it because we want the results.

Dragons fly...

Much of the time, change is a gradual process.  We take baby steps and then more baby steps.  Eventually, we look back and realize we have come pretty darn far with those little steps.

Other times, change is more dramatic.  Consider the dragonfly.  Dragonflies, when the time comes to metamorphose from their larval state to their adult form, split open along their backs and lever themselves out of their old skin, allowing their new exoskeleton to harden and their wings to emerge. 

Sometimes, if we want to fly, we need to make big changes.

There are lots of doors.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, a goal does not work out.  I planned to ride a century this year, but it turns out that I’m not going to be doing it after all.  My desire to have forearms that work in the long term is stronger than my need to check off the box to complete the goal.

It’s not easy.  I like checking boxes.  I love riding my bike.  I wanted to feel strong and accomplished, if tired. 

Instead, I get to face the challenge of revising my plans.  I get to learn how to deal with frustration.  I get to exercise my patience.  And I get to set new goals.  I know I am not the only one who has dealt with setbacks and frustration around goals.  One of the reasons I help my clients monitor progress is to keep their goals in line with present reality, whether that means that they get to achieve more or they get to adjust to new circumstances.

Maybe it feels like a door has slammed.  Let’s find another door.