Tuesday, March 29, 2016

I detect...

Fans of Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot would not nominate him for any fitness awards, as heavy lifting with the little grey cells does not count.  His love of cuisine, dislike of outdoor sports, and fondness for spotless outfits also do not speak in his favor.  However, when we look at the mystery of our shrinking clothes, he may have some key training points.

For example, he collects the data.  What did we do?  Who was there?  What did we notice?  How did we feel?  What were the results?  He does not ask what we were supposed to be doing, or what we intended to do, but what we actually did.  Recalcitrant witnesses eventually admit that they did, in fact, go back for the second piece of cheesecake, or that they saw Granny do it, but denied it because they weren’t supposed to be in the hall surreptitiously texting that cute boy from down the street, the one with the motorcycle and the unfortunate haircut.

Then he looks at the patterns.  What little thing that was so ordinary that no one bothered to notice it made all the difference?  (Besides the fact that someone substituted poisoned mushrooms for chanterelles on the pizza…)  Was it that we no longer walked to the village to get our newspaper and so missed out on some healthful exercise?  Was it that we got extra excitement searching for the missing jewels?

Finally, he puts everything together into a plan.  Some time spent reflecting on all he has learned allows him to create a solution.  And soon the offending desserts can be locked away where they can’t do any harm.

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